Experiment Ongoing
On taking a break from the smart phone and forming new habits
Roughly 2.5 weeks ago, I shared an experiment with you. Like many of you, I carry an ongoing frustration with how dependent I am upon my smartphone. More than dependent, I am aware of the way my mind, my attention, and my heart are being shaped by the small rectangle that goes with me everywhere.
If you missed the original piece, I grew fed up one day and marched myself over to the store and bought myself a flip phone. I learned that I was uniquely equipped for this little experiment. The smart phone I possess is an iPhone 13, which is the last iPhone model to possess a tangible and not a digital SIM card. That SIM card is a standard size that also fits into said flip phone. So for a solid week I retrained myself in using the keypad of a flip phone in order to type text messages and I only used my smart phone when I was at home and connected to Wifi. While it was fairly inconvenient, it provided me with the clean break I needed in order to start to evaluate my practices around my phone and determine how to move forward.
However, the practice of “double-fisting” (switching back and forth between my smart phone and flip phone) couldn’t hold up for long. My smart phone is not in good shape at all — not even in decent shape. Its glass is etched with cracks, the camera is malfunctioning, there are times when it won’t charge, and other issues are emerging that have me facing the decision of whether or not to continue with the standard path of upgrading my smart phone or attempt to get off the rails and choose something different. If I choose to upgrade my smart phone I would lose the ability to switch back and forth between devices thanks to the newer digital SIM card.
The flip phone was, in part, an experiment to see if I could make the switch to a non-Apple, less addicting device. I had, after all, been considering a device such as the Light Phone for years. After a week with Stuart the flip phone I began to reintegrate my smart phone into my life. I chose this for many reasons. Namely, it does provide some conveniences that are difficult to do without. Namely, navigation, banking, photography, calendars and scheduling, and grocery pickup would be hard for me to give up. It wouldn’t be impossible by any means, but it would add some complexity to life that I, frankly, don’t want to devote time and energy to.
So what of the experiment? The experiment is ongoing! It’s an experiment in how to be controlled less by a device and how to carve out mental and emotional space in order to pay attention to the things I want to pay attention to.
STEP ONE: Identify the problems.
For me, my problems weren’t original at all. My chief areas of addiction were social media and email apps — often checking these every few minutes for no reason at all — and starting and ending my day with my device.
STEP TWO: Identify workable solutions and try them.
This can feel daunting. But the truth is, doing something, even if it fails, is always far better than doing nothing. I’ve deleted social media in the past. This can help for a little while, but (for me) the apps do make their way back AND we do all know how to access these on a browser. So, while I thoroughly applaud those who delete their apps or even delete their accounts altogether, I wanted to try something different.
Doing something, even if it fails, is always far better than doing nothing.
Solution For Social Media:
I shared these apps in a previous post, and there are plenty of other workarounds for this, but I’ve personally found some success with ClearSpace. This app locks down whatever apps you choose to give it control over. You can choose to give yourself set amounts of time each day on these app or set windows of time on these apps. The apps will show up as “greyed out” on your home screen. If you attempt to access them, you will be prompted by ClearSpace to complete a breathing exercise. You will be asked if indeed you want to use one of your limited number of access times on this app now and how much time (if you’ve built in set amounts of time). Once you’ve used up your allotted time, you will be kicked off of the app. Of course, there are workarounds. You can weasel your way out of the limits or turn them off. But the intentional barriers to entry have been beneficial to me.
I also installed and set up the DumbPhone app which has my home screen looking like this these days:
The best part is, zero notifications!
I have also had people suggest using your iPhone’s built in time limits for various apps, but choosing the option to enter a password to bypass the limits AND assigning someone else in your life the choice of the password. We all know that in a time of weakness it’s easy to click “ignore” on these limits. If your friend or spouse chooses the password, you’re far less likely to go beg them for access.
Most importantly, let me tell you, just in case no one has, that it’s ok to put up guard rails. If it means we’re weak, let’s just admit we are all weak to some degree or another. Ignoring your weakness or continuing to beat yourself up because you don’t have “will power,” does nothing but harm to you and me.
Solution for Starting And Ending The Day With The Device:
This one is probably going to sound obvious. Experts and self-helpers have been pushing for this for years. But, I admit, I wasn’t listening. Not really. I was committing the cardinal sin of the smart phone: letting the device put me to bed and wake me up. My excuse was that the device served as my alarm clock and I often utilized the Kindle app to read at night. But, guess what — I own an alarm clock and it works just fine. I also own a Kindle. So, I stopped making excuses. Now, when I get ready for bed, I power the device completely off and put it in a drawer.
In the morning, instead of reaching for the device to see what had happened in the world while I was asleep, I leave it there. I have my morning coffee, I read and journal (if I wake up on time…), I get the kids up for school, and even complete school drop off without a phone beside me. Only when I return from school drop off will I power it back on.
I’m so thrilled with the results of this second and exceedingly simple step that I hope to expand it further, setting aside segments of the day to power off the phone and put it away. Obviously, when kids are at school and I need to be reachable in case of an emergency, this isn’t tenable. But in the late afternoons and evenings, I’d like to buy myself further freedom and more presence by putting the device away.
Now What?
Look, I know that these steps represent infantile simplicity. They may not even be worth the time it takes to write about them. Every adults knows they should be doing these things. Maybe you’re already a pro at self-discipline in general and self-control around your smart devices in particular. But, if you’re not, I guess I just want to say that it’s not too late to change your life. Our habits are difficult to change, but they’re not impossible. And it’s ok to try something and fail. In fact, all of life is trying and failing over and over again. But what’s worst than trying and failing is simply not trying — giving in and letting the current carry us without resistance. We are highly unlikely to drift our way into the results we want.
What’s worst than trying and failing is simply not trying —
giving in and letting the current carry us without resistance.
We are highly unlikely to drift our way into the results we want.
As I look forward, I want to now work on choosing with intentionality where to direct my attention. As I wrote above, a big part of this experiment was exploring “how to carve out mental and emotional space in order to pay attention to the things I want to pay attention to.” So what do I want to pay attention to? This will be an ongoing question and one to which I want to give time and energy.
Keep journeying with me. Keep offering up your own ideas and attempting your own experiments with intentionality. This is it. This is your life. It will change without you, but most likely not in the ways you would like. Fight for it.
